


In the moment we're lost and found

by donttouchtheneednoggle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 4x09 never happened because i simply do not vibe with it, First Kiss, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s04e10 The Herald of a New Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28158504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donttouchtheneednoggle/pseuds/donttouchtheneednoggle
Summary: In which Percival is pining, Elyan has a new perspective and Gwaine is really REALLY done with being the brain cell of the group
Relationships: Elyan & Gwaine (Merlin), Elyan/Percival (Merlin), Gwaine & Percival (Merlin)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18





	In the moment we're lost and found

“You’ve got to tell him.”

_“What?”_

Gwaine, Percival, Gwen and Leon were sitting in Elyan’s room, said knight lying in bed unconscious.

It had been about an hour since Merlin and Arthur had returned with him from the forest and they had met them at the edge, trying to contain tears of relief.

Arthur had looked an absolute wreck even though he was trying to appear composed. Cradling Elyan protectively in his arms he’d seemed vulnerable in a way Percival hadn’t ever associated with the king. But they’d all been far more concerned with Elyan and hadn’t asked.

“There’s nothing physically wrong with him, apart from a few bumps to the head,” Gaius had told them before they’d carried Elyan up to his room, giving both Gwaine and Percival a hefty dose of the dreaded Eyebrow.

“He should be fine, just let him sleep as long as he needs, and come and get me when he wakes up or if anything changes.”

And so now the four of them sat by his bedside conversing in half whispers.

Gwaine sighed and levelled Percival with a hard stare. “C’mon Percy, don’t you think it’s about time?”

“I-“ Percival could feel himself blushing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gwaine groaned loudly, causing Leon to elbow him in the ribs in admonishment. Gwen snickered.

She leaned forward to kiss her brother’s forehead, then got up. “I’m going to go see how Arthur’s doing. Tell me if anything changes.”

She flashed a wicked grin at Percival. “Good luck.”

Percival watched, betrayed, as the queen waltzed elegantly out of the room.

Gwaine was undeterred. “How long have you two been making eyes at each other? Months! _Months_ we’ve had to put up with it, right Leon?”

Leon looked thoroughly alarmed to be brought into the conversation. “Aaand that’s me gone.”

He got up quickly, slapped Gwaine rather hard on the back and patted Percival fervently on the shoulder. “Let me know when he wakes up.”

With that he exited the room with extreme haste.

“Talk about honour,” Percival muttered under his breath.

Reluctantly, he turned to face Gwaine’s expectant eyebrows. “Is now really the time?” he said hopelessly.

“Hey-” Gwaine threw up his arms. “When the time is is up to you. Just know if it’s not soon I _will_ lock you both in a broom cupboard.”

Percival shook his head. “I don’t even know if he’s going to want to talk to me anymore, all he’s been through,” he mumbled.

"And-” he hung his head- ”I hit him.”

“To stop him from murdering Arthur,” Gwaine countered. “I’m sure he’ll understand. Anyway, I hit him too.”

Percival rolled his eyes. “You and Elyan hit each other all the time, that doesn’t count.”

“True,” he replied, grinning remorselessly.

“Besides, it’s not just that. I- I tricked him. I made him think he was safe and-” he groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Oh Gods, what if-“

“Hey,” Gwaine grabbed his arm and made him look at him. “ _Talk to him._ I’m very sure he won’t blame you for any of this. But clearly only he’s going to be able to persuade you of that. And tell him the truth sometime, yeah? You both deserve this.”

Percival bit his lip. “Even if he does forgive me, I don’t know if he feels- you know- _that way_ about me.”

Gwaine stared incredulously at him. “You- don’t-” he repeated, and threw up his arms again in despair. “I officially give up with you.”

“All right?” Percival said, nonplussed.

“Fine. Worst comes to the worst and he doesn’t, well then-” He waggled his eyebrows. “-there’s always me.”

Percival punched his arm lightly. “Oh, shut up.”

“Never,” Gwaine answered easily, getting up. He hugged Percival’s head to his side briefly and Percival wrapped an arm round his waist. “Let me know when he’s up, ok?”

“Yeah.” Percival watched as Gwaine meandered out of the room, then turned his attention back to Elyan.

He _ached_. Such a confusing mess of emotions welled up inside of him whenever he looked at him, relief and guilt and yearning and worry. The knight was so still, and it felt so wrong to see him lying there, devoid of the energy and life he usually thrummed with.

Percival chewed his knuckle as he sat hunched over. He wondered for a moment if there was a chance that what Gwaine was getting at could possibly be the case.

There had been moments over the past months, small looks and smiles and exchanges where Percival had wondered if maybe, _maybe_ Elyan was thinking the same.

He could never tell for sure though. Elyan always looked so damn _knowing_ , always looked out into the world with the same faint amusement, and Percival would end up tripping over his own tongue.

It had been nice, anyway, to let it remain unspoken. To hold the possibility that they were on the same wavelength close and let it warm his heart.

Percival had been content to keep his feelings as a soft glow inside of him, safe from the possibility of hurt. But now… he remembered the terror he had felt when he’d heard what had happened, not for Arthur, but for _him_. If anything had-

He was pulled from his ruminations by Elyan stirring.

Percival let out a huge breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding as relief flooded through him.

Elyan blinked blearily up at him. “Percival,” he muttered.

“Hey, Elyan,” he said softly, through his heart was hammering with yet more relief. “It’s ok, you’re safe now.”

Elyan’s eyes suddenly became wide with alarm, flitting around the room. “Arthur,” he whispered, agitated. “Where-“

“Shhhh,” Percival soothed.” He’s fine, everything’s fine.”

“Everyone else?”

“Fine too, everything’s fine, you’re safe.”

“Safe…” Elyan murmured. For a moment he seemed to be drifting somewhere else.

Then his gaze settled on Percival’s, clear now, and he couldn’t look away.

Elyan had such dark brown eyes, deep and warm, and Percival felt as though he would drown in them if he only looked for long enough.

He blinked hard, trying to clear his head. “Um, I should go get Gaius.”

As he started to get up, Elyan caught his arm. “Not yet,” he insisted. “Stay?”

His eyes found his again and Percival melted. “Ok.”

Elyan tried to sit up and Percival sat down on the edge of the bed so he could help him.

“Does your head hurt?” he asked as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders and lifted him gently.

Elyan shook his head, his eyes faraway again. Percival felt a wall going up between them and let go of him to shift backwards and sit facing him.

For a moment Elyan just sat there, staring into space. Then:

“There was a child.”

Percival frowned. “Gaius said something… a spirit.”

Elyan nodded mutely. “He- he was so frightened, and so cold-”

He shivered and tugged the blankets round him, and Percival fought the urge to pull him back into his arms.

“He was killed. One of Arthur’s men drowned him in a well. _A child._ Just… just for being a Druid, just for associating with magic.

"I-“ he broke off and took a deep breath. “I don’t think I can do this any more Perce. Not like this, not without things changing. We- we’ve had it all wrong. I saw his memories – sorcery isn’t inherently evil… we got it wrong.”

Percival’s mind was racing, spinning with shock, but all he could get out was: “Ok.”

Elyan blinked, and just like that he was back. “I just proposed treason and you say ok?”

Percival face reddened, and he fought to be more articulate. “Yeah, I mean, I’m with you. I trust you.”

Elyan half smiled, still looking at him curiously.

“You know, when you came back, Arthur was really shaken up. He looked like he was- well- _thinking_. Who knows, maybe things will change.” He nudged him encouragingly.

“Good,” Elyan said fiercely. Then he relaxed a little. “I guess only time will tell.”

Percival grinned. “Yeah, maybe put the treason plans on hold for tonight? I think you’ve got more pressing things to be doing.”

Elyan raised his eyebrows. “I do?”

He blushed. “Yeah, I- I meant like- sleeping.”

“Oh!” Elyan nodded vigorously. ”Right. Yes.”

Percival wanted to look away awkwardly but Elyan’s eyes were suddenly serious as they moved over his face, and he felt a sudden rush of foreboding.

“Percival,” he began, but he cut him off.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I tricked you, and hit you. I’m sorry I used our- our friendship, or whatever, I-“

Elyan shook his head. “No, Perce, don’t. It stopped me from killing Arthur. It’s fine.” He grinned. “Besides, Gwaine hit me too.”

Percival couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face. “You and Gwaine hit each other all the time, that doesn’t count.”

Elyan laughed. “True.”He looked about him suddenly, as if seeing the room around Percival for the first time. “I’m surprised he isn’t here weeping at my bedside.”

Percival grinned. “Oh he was, but he left.”

Elyan narrowed his eyes at him. “There was weeping though?”

“Oh yeah, tons,” he replied, completely deadpan.

Elyan snorted appreciatively, and Percival was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.

To have him here, beautiful, kind, sarcastic Elyan, alive and safe and cracking jokes when he could’ve been- the anguish must’ve shown on his face because Elyan suddenly leaned forward and pulled him into a tight hug.

Percival wrapped his arms round him like he’d been longing to do and Elyan buried his face in the crook of his neck, trembling suddenly.

“Elyan?” he said quietly after a moment.

He immediately loosened his grip and leaned back to look him in the face. “Sorry I-“ He dropped his eyes.

”I was so scared,” he whispered. “I’ve never been more scared.”

“You’re safe now, Elyan, it’s over. And we wouldn’t have let them execute you, you know that right? I wouldn’t have, whatever you’d done.” He squeezed his arm. “Things are going to be ok. I promise. We’ll make them ok.”

Elyan nodded, looking like he was fighting back tears, and Percival yearned to take him in his arms once more. But before he could do so Elyan spoke again.

“Look, Percival, I- um-“ he broke off and scratched the back of his neck. He took a shuddering breath and tried again. “I know it’s not- but if I’d- there’s something I need to say. I-“

“-I love you too.”

Elyan’s head jerked up to stare at him, utterly gobsmacked.

Percival was just as stunned. His hand jumped to his mouth as his heart dropped through his boots. “Oh Gods I’m sorry! That wasn’t what you were going to say at all, was it! I, uh-“

He broke off as Elyan threw back his head and laughed.

He laughed and laughed and laughed.

Percival stared at him, utterly baffled. He sounded a little hysterical in all honesty, but he let him continue. It sounded like it was a release of sorts.

After at least a minute Elyan managed to gather himself enough to say. “No, you idiot! I was going to say that I really liked you, but only because I was scared of being too much!”

He snorted, still trying to hold back a chuckle. “But yeah, that’s it exactly.” He attempted to look at him somewhat seriously. “I love you.”

Percival’s heart leapt back into his chest and he collapsed dramatically back onto the bed, letting out a long breath. “Well that’s good to know!”

He started to laugh too. Joy was soaring through him and he felt breathless and dizzy, as if a weight had lifted off him.

Elyan, still chuckling, reached out and looped his arms around him again, pulling him against him, and for a long time they just held each other, giggling like fools. Then:

“Wait- did you know I-“

“No! Well- I mean I hoped?”

“You-“ Percival closed his eyes for a moment. Gwaine was never going to let them live this down. “Elyan, are we _stupid_?”

Elyan grinned ruefully. “I think we might be.”

He shifted forward and rested their foreheads together. “I love you,” he whispered, revelling in it.

Percival reached up a hand to cradle his jaw, smiling softly. “I love you too,” he murmured.

Elyan leaned in but Percival dodged him playfully and kissed his cheek instead. He moved to brush his lips against the end of his nose, his temple, his forehead and everything felt like a miracle.

“Oh stop it, you buffoon!” Elyan burst out, laughing once more, and pulled him in for a proper kiss.

.......

They were still kissing sometime later when Gwaine wandered in to check on them, though Percival was now straddling Elyan.

Gwaine gave a loud wolf whistle and, without pausing for breath, Elyan aimed his middle finger at him.

Cackling merrily, Gwaine ducked out of the room and walked down the corridor grinning his head off.

He’d tell the others Elyan was just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Leon and Gaius, Aro of Ace and Brain of Celled: Gwaine are you fucking stupid just because they’re making out doesn’t mean Elyan doesn’t have a concussion  
> (It's ok he didn't)  
> Comments and kudos appreciated :)
> 
> Come hang out on [tumblr](https://donttouchtheneednoggle.tumblr.com/)!


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